JUN 27, 2013
LOVE FROM HERE TO THERE
Your ignorance of the economics and politics of how it is that displaced and dispossessed Ethiopian children come to be owned by your ilk is depressing beyond belief, especially for those of us who have returned to our places of birth in the hopes of righting the wrongs committed globally by those like you and your economic class. So please spare the lecture. Because I guarantee by the time the child temporarily in your care grows up, you will have much more to answer for. For now, you can never know the pain we recognize in this poor girl's unsmiling face, so similar to our own photographs. You don't care to know. And this is 99 percent of the problem. —Daniel Ibn Zayd
JUN 27, 2013
Thank you for speaking more civilly this time— it is appreciated. Be careful when assuming a person is arrogant or does not understand power differentials in diverse societies. Assumptions can be dangerously stereotypical. Professionally, I chose to work in public education as a teacher in a community with many migrant farmworkers. I see firsthand, daily, what challenges are faced by my students— economically, politically, racially. Additionally, I personally believe anyone can benefit from good therapy and just as you are an anti-adoption advocate, I am a therapy advocate. I will do my best to teach the child temporarily in my care all about economic disadvantages and disparities in the hopes she can also make a difference on this planet. Take care and I wish you well in Lebanon. —Huh?
JUN 26, 2013
Here we have something in common. My adoptive father's mother, father, and uncles all were raised in Catholic orphanages in New York City. You'll forgive me though, for if anything, this teaches us the difference between adoption then and now. Then, it was a tool of destruction used against the poor in the purest economic and political sense. Now, it is still a tool of destruction, but it is wrapped up in mythologies having to do with family creation. That you haven't learned from your predecessor's experience is frankly shocking. It's like saying, "This plantation has been in our family for generations." And then: "Meet my housekeeper. Here, let me tell you what she is thinking." This doesn't stand to reason.
The assumption you make that I need to somehow use the very system of dominance that gives us adoption to subdue my emotional response to it is insulting to say the least. You assume I do not experience "joy", and you assume that my anger is personal. It's only partially so. The return to my country of birth—that you seem to wish upon the child temporarily in your care—has been eye-opening in this regard, and is all the "therapy" I need, and then some. Because of this experience, and the 10 years almost I've spent here, I am much more angry concerning systems of dominance which allow those who have to take from those who have not. And I can assure you that those who have not will have the last word on the subject. —Daniel Ibn Zayd
JUN 26, 2013
I am from a family with 3 generations of adoption (starting with my grandfather's adoption in the 1920's). Of course I will never truly know your pain (or my adopted family members' pain). Seeking help from a mental health therapist, at least in the U.S., does not mean you are mentally ill. It means you want to work through your grief, loss, anger and resentment so it does not "eat away" at any potential joy you could be feeling instead. —Huh?
JUN 25, 2013
The irony is that due to the fact of how slavery and trafficking work in Lebanon, and who makes up the domestic slave labor force in this place, I guarantee you that I know more Ethiopian women than you do. I also am pretty sure you wouldn't want to hear what they have to say about your role in the dispossession of their children. Perhaps they also need "therapy"? At least we live in a place where going up against the dominant mode isn't described in terms of mental illness. How sad for the child temporarily in your care, whom you also deign to speak for. Such arrogance. —Daniel Ibn Zayd
JUN 24, 2013
I hope you get help from a trained mental health therapist so you don't have to live this way. You seem to draw conclusions based solely on your world view without attention to the detail of different situations. Your angry crusade will not benefit yourself but you can help your emotional state by talking with a trained professional (one who deals with adoptees would be best for you). —Huh?